1st Injection.

Hi everybody, and thanks to everyone who kindly posted advice for me in preparation for today.

I had my 1st injection, 80mcg peginterferon alpha 2b, 2-3 hours ago, and apart from feeling a bit light headed and not feeling like I could run a marathon. I feel not so bad, a bit of a vague headache, but wouldn't like to venture far from home. I'm to take only one dose of 400mg ribavirin later today, and after that I will be taking 2 doses a day.

I was outwardly composed when I arrived at the hospital, inwardly very anxious. I had gone along armed with my tick list, current vitamins and medications and the ELPA petition.

My nurse came to see me to take bloods and check blood pressure. We had a chat about the tests, which tests she was going to do etc. She told me they would do a viral load check, hep b and hiv and blood count. I asked about the ALT and AST, but she said they had done these in 2004 and they shouldn't have altered very much. I think she was a little impatient with my questions, never really answered me clearly and just kept telling me not to worry about it.

She began to prepare to take the blood and I pointed out the site where it is best to get blood and the angle the needle should enter the vein, as the vein is a bit twisted. She proceeded to go in at a different angle, and as a result could not get any blood, and so began to dig about. As I've been through this process zillions of times in the last 5 years and I knew there would be no result, I tried to advise her. She whipped the needle out, and in what I thought was a brusque manner said, 'ok where do you usually go in, or I could just take it from your neck if you like.' I was a bit shocked as it has never been necessary to do this before, I know the neck is a favourite site for IV drug users whose regular veins have collapsed, and what did she mean, where do I usually go in?

I told her that I did not wish her to go in my neck, then she looked at me and said, 'look you're very agitated, I'm only trying to lighten things up by making a joke, to be truthful Miss Poppy I find your attitude a bit offensive!!!' What??? She continued, 'you're very uptight, you need to take a chill pill or something and try to relax.'

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I told her that I was indeed very anxious and nervous, and because I had been messed about and things had not gone right on other occasions I just wanted to make sure things went smoothly this time and what have I done that is offensive?

I don't know about you, but I do get tense when I have blood taken, this is because on many occasions I have advised the blood nurses where they can get blood, then against my better judgement and in order not to offend them, I have had to agree to let them go into another vein that looks good but doesn't yield any blood, as they have thought this was best, only after being poked and prodded have they finally agreed to go where I've suggested. It does piss me off no end to have to go through this distressing rigmarole time and time again, to pussy foot around their egos when I'm the pin cushion, and yes I do get agitated. I don't go in there trying to tell them their jobs, or demanding this and that, I just tell them politely what my many previous experiences have shown me.

I tried to explain to my nurse that my anxiety was not a personal attack, (although I did feel hers was), but each time I opened my mouth to speak, she talked over me, repeatedly saying you need to calm down and take a chill pill. When I was finally able to get a word in, I told her I found her manner offensive, that the inference in her present directions and at a previous consultation was that I was an IV user and that I'm sorry I didn't laugh at her joke, but I actually thought she was serious. Even at this point she was still not really listening and threw an exasperated, eyes rolled back look to my partner, as if to say, doesn't she go on. I realised I was supposed to take her remarks on the chin and not defend myself.

At this point my partner also joined the circus, and made a few well constructed comments himself about it being understandable that I should be nervous and that I was offended by the references to IV use. My nurse began to calm down, but I just wanted to cry, I'd not even had anything done by this time.

My nurse could not site anything offensive that I had done or said, and I felt she began to back track very rapidly. She told me she was there to help me, (!!!???!!!) and it was best if we got on as we'd be working together. I agreed with her, what else could I do, despite finding her overbearing, insolent, rude and aggressive. She said there was nothing to worry about, which was a far cry from what she told me at our last consultation.

She sent for another bloods nurse to take my blood, this one did what I suggested and got the bloods no messing. My nurse said, 'oh you are right', at that point she also agreed to take the ALT/ALT bloods. We then got down to the injection which went well, I did it myself and I found it easy.

Anyway its over, I could have done without the nurses awful attitude, but I will put it behind me and try to forget it. I'm sure there was a learning curve in there somewhere for her too, she now knows I will stand up to her, a good thing for bossy bullying types to know. In her favour, she signed the ELPA petition, and in the end was speaking to me like I was a person.

The tick list went out the window, neither was I asked about current medication, or asked to complete any healthcheck questionairre.

I go back to the hospital in 2 weeks, I have 1 injection to take at home next week and 56 ribavirin tablets to keep me going.

My apologies to anyone who is/was an IV drug user if my comments cause offense, but I am aware that prejudice does exist within the NHS and understandably, at this point, IV drug user is not a label I wish to have attached to me. Soz.